Novice Skier Loses It On The Slopes
An Urban Legend From The World Of Skiing.
Editor’s Note: Jan Harold Brunvand is a frequent contributor to SeniorsSkiing.com. An avid skier, he is a retired American folklorist, researcher, writer, public speaker, and professor emeritus of English at the University of Utah. Jan is best known for popularizing the concept of the urban legend, a form of modern folklore or story telling. Urban Legends are “too good to be true” stories that travel by word of mouth, by print or the internet and are attributed to an FOAF: friend of a friend. “Urban Legends,” Brunvand says, “have a persistent hold on the imagination because they have an element of suspense or humor, they are plausible and they have a moral.” We asked him if there are any skiing urban legends, and he submitted the following.
In all my years of collecting and researching urban legends I’ve encountered only one story that involves skiing, but it’s a doozy.
I first heard it at Snowbird during the winter of 1979-80, but it’s probably older.
A young woman from California after taking a couple of lessons on the bunny slopes felt ready to try a run from the top of the mountain. But as she got off the tram, Mother Nature called, and she didn’t see any restroom or lodge up there.
So she skied behind a clump of trees, jabbed her poles into the snow, and began to unzip. Just as she pulled down her ski pants and thermal underwear, she began to slide down the slope. In an instant, she was swooshing down the mountain backward, her pants around her ankles, trying to stop, until she collided with a tree.
She was rescued by the ski patrol who brought her to the base for medical care. As she was leaving the patrol first aid room, her arm in a sling, a man wearing an instructor’s parka was carried in, his leg in a splint.
“What happened?” she asked him. “I mean, you’re an instructor!”
“You’re not going to believe this,” he explained, “but I was riding the lift when I saw this woman roaring down the run backwards with her pants down; I leaned over for a better look, and fell off the lift. So, what happened to you?”
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I have an inch-thick file of letters, clippings, and notes re-telling different versions of this story. Typical of folklore, there are countless variations in detail while always preserving the core yarn of the hapless novice skier. She may be an Iowan at Aspen, an Oklahoman at Vail, an Atlantan at Squaw Valley, A Chicagoan at Alta, a Missourian at Sun Valley, an Ohioan at an Upstate New York resort, etc. etc. etc.
The same story is also told about skiers from Canada, England, and New Zealand on ski holidays either at home or abroad. In a version from Australia the injured lady who has been skiing in the Snowy Mountains is flying home to Sydney when she finds herself seated next to a young man with his leg in a cast. “What happened to you . . . ?”
For years a photocopied version circulated bearing the title “How’d You Break Your Arm?” Now you can find it on the Internet. It’s also a favorite story for after-dinner speakers.
The December 1983 issue of Ski magazine quoted the story from a Montreal newspaper with the variation that the half-dressed snow bunny was skiing frontwards, and she crashed “under a fully loaded chairlift.” This publication as well as one from a Swedish magazine had a cartoon illustration.
I have two questions for SeniorsSkiing.com readers: First, what version of The Ski Accident have you heard? And second, aren’t there some other urban legends about our favorite winter pastime?


