How To Handle Difficult Moments
What To Do When Things Go Pear Shaped.
This might have been do-able last week, but, hmmm, today you can’t handle “it.” Rambo at Crested Butte. Credit: Chris Segal
Consider a ski run you’ve done before and which you found perfectly do-able with your present level of technical skiing skill. But conditions have changed, and the snow is less easy to ski; perhaps the temperature has fallen and the surface is now more crisp. Or the light has gone totally flat. Or the cold is really distracting. All of a sudden you find yourself getting scared.
The most likely reason for this is you probably don’t have the skills that will make you feel confident you have total control of your skis. In the longer term, it is clear that you need to improve your level of skiing skill. Right now, however, you are not certain you will able to handle the situation.
Shouting “Be Confident” won’t work. Having someone else shout “Just do it” also won’t work. “Go on, you’ll be okay” won’t work, unless you find it immediately believable. Being able to ski better is the single thing that would give you more confidence, but it is not available to you in the moment, now, when you really need it. What you need now are a few self control techniques to help you get down safely in control of the situation.
Getting Focused Is The Key.
Here are a few “emergency situation” tricks that may help you get out of a bit of trouble, so you can get down safely, without too much psychological damage, and begin a plan of action to improve your skiing and the number of situations you can conquer.
• When things begin to “go pear-shaped”, we need to bring your focus to the situation, not think “expansively”.
• First of all, even if there seems to be a shortage of time, STOP. Stop and reassess. Don’t be afraid to actually shout “STOP!” You need to get your brain waves smoothed out. Stopping still will help. Be prepared to do it repeatedly as you descend; it’s likely not to be a one-off job.
• Ask yourself—and take care answering—”Is this the end of the world, or something less? What single small thing can I do that will help?” Remember, whatever that is, it doesn’t have to be a complete cure; it only has to get you through the next few seconds. They will in turn lead you to the following few seconds.
• The general rule of thumb is: The more dire the situation seems to you, the shorter should be your attention span.
• Don’t think big: think small. Don’t think “long distance”, think “the next ten yards”.
• Don’t think long term: think the next ten seconds or even less. “Can I get through and survive the next two minutes / ten seconds / the next one second? What do I have to do to hang on?
• Don’t think “skiing down to the bottom”: think the next single arc. Only one. Then stop again. Pull that one off, and it will give you confidence for the next one. (Successes lead to successes) Give yourself a few seconds at least, to take your single-arc success on board. Recognize it.
• Stop after each arc until something in your head says, “Hey, we could link a couple together now”.
• Finally, for now, do not blame yourself. Resist the temptation to call yourself names. Avoid belittling your self. Being scared is natural, commonplace, and surmountable. It is a strong emotion, and your best defense is anything at all that helps you not to be emotional. Do your best to be rational, and content with that “best”.
Get used to these ideas before you head to the piste. In the quiet of your study, spend some time sitting and imagining situations where you may use them. Those imagination sessions will serve you well next time you need one of these, in earnest. When you are imagining, get deeply into it, “see” more than you normally see, make slopes steeper than they really are, imagine the slope more polished, hear snow-boarders scraping the snow right behind you; enlarge the whole situation. See the colors brighter. Hear the sound around you louder. Imagine yourself lifting one ski off the ground and sense what it feels like. You are completely safe, it’s only imagination.
Define “It”.
Anytime we feel fear or apprehension, our perceptions are telling us that “we may not be able to handle it”. So, STOP and define what “it” is.
If for example “handling it” involves skiing with linked arcs down something you don’t like the look of, then how about redefining “it”. Call “it”, “Getting down the next 20 yards safely,” and the picture will look different, because you have now taken skis out of the equation. You could even take them off, carry them, and walk based on your definition. Or you might perhaps side-skid if you know how.
When you have taken control, you will have done it by defining the problem. No one would blame you or call you names (except you, if you let yourself). In fact probably no one would even notice; most folk on ski slopes, especially tricky bits, don’t notice anything, except their own situation.
Never be ashamed of being apprehensive or scared; just realize there are ways to handle difficult moments.
Editor Note: Bob Trueman has a free self-coaching guide called My Performance Review that has helped hundreds of skiers re-set their psychology after a difficult day. It’s simple to use and powerful. Click here to visit Bob’s website Bobski.com, then go to Contact Us and send him an email. He’ll send My Performance Review to you via email.
Music And Skiing: Annie’s Song And Dancing With The Mountains
John Denver Composed The Lyrics On A Chairlift.
John Denver filling up our senses. He wrote the lyrics to Annie’s Song on a chairlift.
[Editor Note: Correspondent LuAnn Snyder, a director of the Baltimore Ski Club and a big John Denver fan, contributed to this article.]
Did you know that John Denver was an avid skier? John Denver wrote his classic song “Annie’s Song“, while riding a chairlift to the top of Ajax Mountain in Aspen as an ode to his then wife Annie Martell. John spoke about the making of Annie’s Song” and what the song meant to him.
“Annie’s Song” was written after we had been through a particularly difficult time and had come together again, in many ways closer than ever before. We really felt together and much closer from the experiences we had been through.
One day I was skiing, and I had just finished a run that was totally exhilarating. I skied down to the lift, got on the chair, and was off and up the mountains again, my thighs burning and still in the process of catching my breath. I looked out at the mountains I love, and the Colorado sky was a blue color you can only see from this altitude, my favorite color I might add. The deep green of the trees against the white of the snow, the colorful outfits the people were wearing, the sounds if life as it goes over each tower, and birds singing, and laughter, and the smell of the clean, fresh air out there in the wilderness-all those things were going through my mind and it was all beautiful. It filled me completely.
I began thinking about other things that are like that for me, and my first thought was of the woman I had fallen in love with again, and how she filled me so completely. Then I started thinking of other things—things in nature. And in the ten minutes it takes to go from the bottom of Bell Mountain lift to the top, I had written “Annie’s Song.” I had the melody in my head, and I knew the chords on the guitar. I skied down to the bottom, of the hill, raced home, picked up my guitar, and played it.
You fill up my senses, like a night in a forest
Like the mountains in springtime, like a walk in the rain
Like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean
You fill up my senses, come fill me again
Come let me love you, let me give my life to you
Let me drown in your laughter, let me die in your arms
Let me lay down beside you, let me always be with you
Come let me love you, come love me again
Let me give my life to you
Come let me love you, come love me again
Annie’s Song sold more than a million copies staying at number one in the US pop charts for two weeks and three weeks in the US adult contemporary charts in the summer of 1974. Since then it has graced many a wedding, though it did not cement Denver’s marriage. He and Anne were divorced in 1983.
Dancing With The Mountains
Back in 1980, John Denver also filmed a music video production at Aspen, featuring his Dancing With The Mountains tune. Note his form, the sunglasses, the one-piece ski suits, the free-stylers, the Go-Pro like shots–classic early 80s ski scene. Hugely popular, this music video had apparently faded into obscurity until it was unearthed and posted on YouTube. We miss you, John Denver.
Some skiers are Alta took at shot at re-creating the original 1980 Dancing In The Mountains video to celebrate the end of the 2017 season. The dude doing the John Denver part has the green parka and cool shades down. Check it out below.
Question For You: Difficult Situations
How Do You Manage Your…Apprehensions?
Ugh, tensed up and clutching happens to everyone.
Yesterday, you did fine on Wild Thing, that steep, narrow trail on the shady side of the mountain. Today, Wild Thing is crusty, heavy, or worse, boilerplate, and it’s the only way down. Or, the afternoon light has gone totally flat, you’re at the top of the mountain, heading through the trees to the bottom. Or, you took the wrong lift at a resort new to you, and you’re in double black diamond territory. Or, you’re really, really cold. Or, it’s the last run of a long day, you’ve pushed it a bit too far, and you’re whipped. Or, you’ve had a fall that came out of nowhere, and you’re spooked, perhaps sore.
Uh-oh, the mojo ain’t working today. Credit: AlexanderTT
We have all been there: In a difficult situation, tensed up, and wondering why people put sticks on their feet to slide down mountains in the first place. Where’s the hot tub? Where’s the fireplace? Where’s the Heineken? Gotta get down and outta here!
Ski coach and SeniorsSkiing.com correspondent Bob Trueman has an interesting article elsewhere in this edition. He provides some guidelines for dealing with difficult situations like these, where the world suddenly goes pear-shaped and fear narrows your perspective.
But we’re curious what you do in those tense, scary moments.
What rules of thumb do you follow to get down when you are in a tough situation? How did you learn those rules? Where were you taught? Figure it out? How do they work? Give us some examples, and we’ll all learn from your experience.
Write your comments in Leave A Reply below.
[authors_page role=contributor]