Novice Skier Loses It On The Slopes
An Urban Legend From The World Of Skiing.
Editor’s Note: Jan Harold Brunvand is a frequent contributor to SeniorsSkiing.com. An avid skier, he is a retired American folklorist, researcher, writer, public speaker, and professor emeritus of English at the University of Utah. Jan is best known for popularizing the concept of the urban legend, a form of modern folklore or story telling. Urban Legends are “too good to be true” stories that travel by word of mouth, by print or the internet and are attributed to an FOAF: friend of a friend. “Urban Legends,” Brunvand says, “have a persistent hold on the imagination because they have an element of suspense or humor, they are plausible and they have a moral.” We asked him if there are any skiing urban legends, and he submitted the following.
In all my years of collecting and researching urban legends I’ve encountered only one story that involves skiing, but it’s a doozy.
I first heard it at Snowbird during the winter of 1979-80, but it’s probably older.
A young woman from California after taking a couple of lessons on the bunny slopes felt ready to try a run from the top of the mountain. But as she got off the tram, Mother Nature called, and she didn’t see any restroom or lodge up there.
So she skied behind a clump of trees, jabbed her poles into the snow, and began to unzip. Just as she pulled down her ski pants and thermal underwear, she began to slide down the slope. In an instant, she was swooshing down the mountain backward, her pants around her ankles, trying to stop, until she collided with a tree.
She was rescued by the ski patrol who brought her to the base for medical care. As she was leaving the patrol first aid room, her arm in a sling, a man wearing an instructor’s parka was carried in, his leg in a splint.
“What happened?” she asked him. “I mean, you’re an instructor!”
“You’re not going to believe this,” he explained, “but I was riding the lift when I saw this woman roaring down the run backwards with her pants down; I leaned over for a better look, and fell off the lift. So, what happened to you?”
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I have an inch-thick file of letters, clippings, and notes re-telling different versions of this story. Typical of folklore, there are countless variations in detail while always preserving the core yarn of the hapless novice skier. She may be an Iowan at Aspen, an Oklahoman at Vail, an Atlantan at Squaw Valley, A Chicagoan at Alta, a Missourian at Sun Valley, an Ohioan at an Upstate New York resort, etc. etc. etc.
The same story is also told about skiers from Canada, England, and New Zealand on ski holidays either at home or abroad. In a version from Australia the injured lady who has been skiing in the Snowy Mountains is flying home to Sydney when she finds herself seated next to a young man with his leg in a cast. “What happened to you . . . ?”
For years a photocopied version circulated bearing the title “How’d You Break Your Arm?” Now you can find it on the Internet. It’s also a favorite story for after-dinner speakers.
The December 1983 issue of Ski magazine quoted the story from a Montreal newspaper with the variation that the half-dressed snow bunny was skiing frontwards, and she crashed “under a fully loaded chairlift.” This publication as well as one from a Swedish magazine had a cartoon illustration.
I have two questions for SeniorsSkiing.com readers: First, what version of The Ski Accident have you heard? And second, aren’t there some other urban legends about our favorite winter pastime?
Lift Maintenance 101
The Whole Summer Was Spent Getting Ready For Winter.
Reassembling parts takes time and patience.
Credit: Harriet Wallis
It’s 80 degrees at Deer Valley. Mountain snow melted long ago. A summer breeze rustles leaves on the aspen trees and wafts through the open doors of the maintenance shop. The crew wears shorts and T-shirts. It’s mid-July.
Gears and gizmos cover the work benches, and the crew is meticulously polishing, calibrating and lubricating the parts. It’s virtually open heart surgery on the inner workings of a ski lift.
“We work eight months to be open for four months of skiing,” said Deer Valley’s Lift Maintenance Manager Jeffrey Miller. “All of us in this industry do a great job. We’re well aware of how many bottoms are in the air.”
Maintenance also deals with rubber parts that get worn, such as belts. Weather, wind and temperature can affect alignments. Even identical lifts can wear differently. Lift maintenance is complicated. It’s part science, part skill and part art.
It takes a lot of work to refurbish parts.
Credit: Harriet Wallis
Deer Valley’s talented crew keeps the resort’s 25 lifts running smoothly.
But there’s more. Just like your car gets its 60,000 mile service, lift components must be inspected, reconditioned and rebuilt at various frequencies, Miller said.
“For example, certain lift manufacturers require that sheave assemblies be rebuilt every six years. Brakes should be completely torn down, inspected and rebuilt every four years. Gearboxes and final drives get reconditioned on an hour basis, right around the 12,000 hours.”
Got that? It’s a complex schedule.
In spite of all the tedious maintenance, a breakdown can happen. The needed part — many of which are huge — might not be in storage. But a nearby resort might have that part. “We’re a tight-knit group much like a family. We reciprocate by sharing parts,” Miller said.
This is a job for four hands.
Credit: Harriet Wallis.
All this so you can enjoy your ski day.
But the work doesn’t stop when summer ends. When we ski, we’re always looking up – looking at the lift mechanisms, he said. And we periodically sample the oil to see what’s in it and we check tension adjustments.
Get ready to ski. Deer Valley’s lifts and the lifts at your favorite resort had their summer work outs.
To read more from Harriet click here for her stories on SkiUtah.
X-C Olympian Celebrates 98th Birthday
From The Ski Museum Of Maine.
Chummy Broomhall in his stride. Help him celebrate his 98th.
Credit: Ski Museum Of Maine
Chummy Broomhall, two-time Olympic cross country skier and the oldest living member of the Chisholm Ski Club, will be celebrating his 98th birthday on December 3rd. Last year the Chisholm Ski Club sponsored a card campaign for Chummy’s birthday and he received almost 150 cards! Let’s blow that number out of the water this year and start sending him birthday wishes now.
Send birthday cards to Wendell “Chummy” Broomhall c/o Maine Veterans Home 477 High Street, South Paris, ME 04281
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