Movie Review: Avalanche Sharks
Jaws Comes To Snow Country And Attacks Bikini Contest. Terrifying, No?
Don’t go near the…snow. We’ve heard of snow snakes but this is ridiculous.
We would have loved to have been around the conference room table—or more likely, cocktail bar—when the idea for this movie took form.
“Let’s make a movie about a ski resort in avalanche country,” says one genius.
“With a spring break bikini contest around the hot tub at the base lodge,” opines another.
“Yeah, with a herd of sharks that swim under the snow and eats skiers,” says the another genius.
They stare at each other in recognition of a profound ideation and shout in unison, “Avalanche Sharks”. High fives all around.
And so it came to pass that a movie about sharks that swim under the snow during a bikini contest and eat skiers was made.
For those of us who love the absurd, the ridiculous, and the irreverent, this is one for you. We cannot imagine how the actors managed to not break out hysterically laughing in the midst of some of these scenes.
For students of horror films, this one has all the elements: The crazy outsider shouting a warning no one believes, ancient curse, astronomical event, disbelieving authorities, brave young people, beautiful young people, omnipotent monsters, and, of course, a predictable ending.
This 2014 movie can be rented from Amazon, Youtube, or other streamers. Watch with a group of friends with adult beverages and potato chips.
Dum-dee-dum-dee-dum-dee-dum.
This Week In SeniorsSkiing.com (May 5)
Cinco de Mayo Skiing, Skiing On Stones, Why Re-Enter Name/Email?, Storing Skis, Ticks Are Coming.
Proof that more than one person has skied the scree in Austria.
The responses to our Spring Survey 2017 are rolling in. Thank you for your encouraging comments and suggestions. It is very heartening to know there are so many readers out there who are rooting for us and for senior skiing. Yes, we are trying to promote senior discounts. And we will continue to highlight the “second-tier” ski areas where discounts are more generous and skiing more…relaxed. And yes, we will have more articles on fitness and gear reviews. So much helpful information.
If you haven’t responded, there is still time. We’ll send out a reminder soon.
Spring skiing in Arizona? Who woulda thunk? But here it is. Arizona Ski Bowl is celebrating Cinco de Mayo with open lifts. Click below to see short news story.
“Why Do I Have To Re-Enter My Name and Email Address?”
If you are being asked to re-enter your email to confirm your subscription to SeniorsSkiing.com, you might be a bit annoyed. We don’t blame you, but there is an explanation.
- You are accessing SeniorsSkiing.com through a device that is different from the one you originally signed up on. Subscribing to SeniorsSkiing.com puts a “cookie” on your device. If you use a different device, no cookie, so you are viewed as a non-subscriber. If you re-enter name and password, you’ll be okay with the new device.
- You have disabled cookies or cleared browser history on your device. Turn cookies back on, and you’ll not have to re-enter again, or leave it disabled and realize you have to re-enter each time. Your call.
- You are trying to access our Subscriber-Only Content. Instead of building a firewall that requires usernames and passwords, we elected a much simpler way of getting to our exclusive content: Just confirm your name and email. You will have to do that each time you want to get to that information, which, by the way, is under the Community tab at the top.
Co-publisher Jon Weisberg found a place in this whacky world where people ski on rocks. Okay, we’ve seen skiers in canoes going down ski trails, surfers wearing skis, skiers in streets and urban parks, but this one gets the nutsy award. Okay, maybe once to say you’ve done it, but not every weekend. Check it out.
Lyme’s tell-tale ring rash appears 36-48 hours after a tick bite.
Correspondent Steve Hines brings us the first part of a two-part series on Lyme disease. We know our readers are active summer people, many cyclists and hikers. The news is that Lyme is spreading, no longer the exclusive disease of New England. It pays to pay attention to this; having Lyme disease is a serious condition. The good news is it can be avoided.
Finally, Correspondent Don Burch gives us some tips on putting our gear away. If you haven’t thought about storing your equipment with just a little TLC, now is the time to rectify. We typically thrown our boot and ski bags down by the furnace after our last outing without so much as a fare-thee-well. Not a good idea.
Our sticker, free with a self-addressed, stamped envelope.
Finally, finally, if you’d like a SeniorsSkiing.com sticker, please send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to SeniorsSkiing.com, Box 416, Hamilton, MA. 01936. We will send you a couple for sticking on things.
We appreciate our readers more and more every day. Thanks again so very much for your responses to our new survey. Keep ’em coming. And remember, folks, there are more of us every day, and we aren’t going away.
Short Swings!
Sometimes Coming Up With Content For This Weekly Column Is Challenging…Especially Now That The Season Has Ended.
In season, resorts and others seeking publicity provide us with a steady stream of options to consider. That’s dried up. So this week, I went through the ski-related photos I’ve snapped and forgotten about…until now. Most are license plates, the majority from Utah, where I live. It’s amazing how skiers combine seven letters/numbers to express their love. The plates, some weird decals and signs, a ski-inspired fence or two, and some pre-Christmas pictures while window shopping in NYC are now posted. Simply go to the top of the home page, click Features then (in the drop down box) Terrific/Funny Photos. You are invited to submit ski-related pictures throughout the year.
Spring Reader Survey
Our Spring Reader Survey was distributed this week. It’s a quick one. We’re trying to determine how much older skiers spend when they go skiing. The results will be useful in helping area management appreciate the value of the older skier. They also may help us attract advertisers.
The survey also is your opportunity to be listed as a Trail Master. If you skied your age this season, let us know, and we’ll add you to the annual Trail Master listing.
SeniorsSkiing.com Sticker
Want a few free SeniorsSkiing.com stickers? They look good on skis, helmets, lockers, cars. Send a pre-addressed, stamped envelope to SeniorsSkiing, Box 416, Hamilton, MA 01936.
ALASKA
Dean Cummings’ H2O Guides is booking trips for 2018. Dean has been operating in the Chugach Mountains surrounding Valdez since 1995. H2O accesses 4,000 square miles of terrain. Visit their site for details.
OTHER
Mountain Collective passholders can extend the season at Squaw Valley and Mammoth Mountain which expect to be operating into summer. The pass also covers southern hemisphere destinations such as Valle Nevado, Thredbo and Coronet Peak/The Remarkables.
SHAREaCAMPER, a peer-to-peer motorhome rental platform, analyzed Google searches of adventure activities and came up with a ranking of the countries with the “most adventurous” people. They analyzed searches for activities ranging from skydiving to skiing. On a per capita basis, the Netherlands ranked #1 followed by Australia, Sweden, Germany and France. The U.S. ranked 9th. On search volume, alone, the U.S. raked first. Skiing is most popular in Norway, but the U.S. has the highest number of searches per month for the sport. Full results at the SHAREaCAMPER site.
Looking for a previously owned ski lift? Skilifts.us is one place to find everything from a second hand quad to an old-fashioned rope tow.
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