Confessions Of A Ski Thief
[Editor Note: This personal account by contributor Harriet Wallis makes me smile. It appeared in SeniorsSkiing.com January 2, 2015.]
Start the Season Off Right: Know Where You Put Your Skis
It had been a glorious day on the slopes. Toward the end of that day, skiers and riders were coming off the hill and settling onto the patio to enjoy the late afternoon sunshine with some beverages and live music. Before I could join them, I had to park my skis, but it was nearly impossible to find an empty slot in the racks.

Where O where art thou? Getting skis mixed up is too easy in this forest of fiberglass.
Credit: Harriet Wallis
With so many people and so many skis, I reasoned that it might be easy for someone to grab the wrong skis when they were ready to head home. To prevent such an accidental mix up, I put one ski in the rack and placed the other against the building. They were old skis, but they were my only skis, and I didn’t want them to go home with somebody else. With one ski here and the other ski over there, I was sure my skis would be waiting for me when I was ready to leave the mountain.
And sure enough, skis were waiting. I gathered one ski from the rack and the other from against the building. I threw them into the car and headed home.
A few days later – just as I was ready to ski again – I picked up my skis and was horrified. They didn’t match. I had a 170cm ski and one that was 163 cm. They were identical except for the size. Same ski, same integrated binding. Just different sizes!
I replayed the scenario in my head. I had put one in the rack and the other against the building. But another skier had done exactly the same thing – one ski in the rack, one ski against the building. And I had stolen a ski that belonged to somebody else.
I made frantic phone calls. My ski was waiting in the resort’s lost and found. When I retrieved it, there was an angry note taped to it saying: “It was the last day of my vacation, but I had to fly home to North Carolina with only one ski. Someone stole my other ski.”
I shipped the 163 cm ski to her immediately, and I included some goodies as an apology.
But when I told my son, he capped the matter. “Mother, I told you to use a ski lock. Now do it.”
Kids. We raise them with our wisdom, and then they turn around and give us a dose of their wisdom.
Super Skier: Skiing Songs of the Sixties
[Editor Note: Here’s an archive article that will bring back some memories. Back in the Sixties, there was a host of songs devoted to the relatively new and growing sport of skiing. This article from SeniorsSkiing.com August, 2014 highlights some of the songs and the singers.]
Well, they called him Super Skier
As he sat around the sun deck,
For he swore that he would never take a spill.
When they finally brought him down
They had to use three toboggans
To carry all the pieces down the hill.
Bob Gibson, Super Skier
In the late 50s and early 60s, three cultural threads knit together simultaneously—folk singing, the comedy album and the sport of skiing. Inspired by the Kingston Trio, Smothers Brothers and the comedy records of Bob Newhart, Woody Allen, Shelly Berman, and Lenny Bruce, a small band of singers created a niche art form: The Stand Up Comic As Skiing Folk Singer.
A pioneer on the scene was Chicago-based Bob Gibson, a 50s folksinger, who, among other things, wrote novelty songs, especially about skiing. One of those, Super Skier, later recorded by the Chad Mitchell Trio*, became the genre’s archetype. Here’s a version:
The novelty ski song had a pattern. A naïf—nerdy office worker, country hick, cowboy—goes skiing because it’s macho, ladies find skiers attractive, and it’s cool. His goal is showing off, joining the Jet Set, finding the girl and having “the look”. But, misadventures and slapstick outcomes ensue. All of this is often to a familiar folk tune: Sweet Betsy From Pike, Turkey In the Straw, Railroad Bill and the like, with simple acoustic string-band accompaniment.
Utah skier and resident Ray Conrad is a prime example of this novelty genre. He was a topical folk singer back in the 60s. Here’s his song The Big Downhill Skis about a “hard-butt” cowboy who is challenged to go skiing by a city slicker. Pretty funny.
Ray also has a serious side. Here’s the opening lyric of his song, “A Skier’s Daydream”.
In the fall of the year, when the summer grows old
When the air has a chill, and the green hills turn cold
It’s then I grow restless and feel at my ease
I yearn for the mountains and the snow in the trees
Then there’s his song Two Cubes and A Slug of VO that compares the joys of skiing with the benefits of “drinking gin with a touch of vermouth, yo-ho.”
The genre went in a different direction when Oscar Brand issued an entire album of ribald ski songs. Brand, a contemporary of Pete Seeger and the Weavers, had an uncanny knack for writing and collecting off-color songs. His discography (about 100 albums) includes bawdy sea shanties, army ditties, navy songs, and hearty drinking carousers.
Ray Conrad was in the mix in those days and contributed two songs to Brand’s 1963 “A Snow Job For Skiers”. Here are some lyrics from The Ski Instructor from that album. The rest of the songs range from clever and witty all the way to silly. Discretion prohibits adding an actual audio track.
Impress her with your ability, don’t let her answer no
Remind her that skiing with no sex involved is nothing but cold, cold snow.
We haven’t noticed après-ski lounge singers embracing these songs or even making up their own in our recent travels. Google “ski songs,” and you get rock music for your skiing playlist, not the topical send-ups of yesteryear.
Do you have a ski song you remember?
Now the moral of my story
Though my story’s kinda gory
For all you sundeck Charlies, there’s still hope
You buy the fastest clothes you can
Then talk skiing like a man
But don’t let people catch you on the slope…And Get Charlie Off The MTA
_____________________
*By sheer happenstance, the author was present at Brooklyn College in May 1961, when the Chad Mitchell Trio first performed “Super Skier” on stage and made the recording you can hear on the Youtube link. They raised the roof on that one. Here’s the admission (autographed on the back) ticket to prove it.
This Week In SeniorsSkiing.com (August 4)
SPECIAL EDITION: The SnowSports Industry And Climate Change.

A 12 acre solar farm at Jiminy Peak, MA, generates power for lifts, lodge and snowmaking.
Credit: Jiminy Peak
As we write this in early August, the National Weather Service has issued an excessive heat warning for most of the West Coast. Seattle is poised to entertain temperatures near 100 degrees, Reno 110, Portland 106. Meanwhile, we hear of a massive snowfall in New Zealand’s Mt. Hutt, bringing 26 foot snow drifts over the weekend of July 22-23. Here’s some video shot from a helicopter, thanks to Snowbrains.com.
We’ve seen reports from Portillo, Chile, with similar reports of gargantuan snowfalls in the Andes. Short duration, big depths. Clearly, the atmosphere is reacting to an increase in global temperatures.
So this week, we will devote our issue to climate change and the ski business. Obviously, there is a link and a concern. We hear from three reports from SeniorsSkiing.com correspondents Rose Marie Cleese and Roger Lohr on how the ski industry is embracing sustainable energy, conservation policies and practices, and new technologies that save money and reduce fossil-fuel consumption and carbon dioxide footprints.
In How The Ski Industry Is Fighting Climate Change, Rose Marie Cleese provides a broad look at how the industry is preparing and responding to a future with potentially less cold weather. She reports on NSAA, a non-profit called Protect Our Winters, and two major resort operators’ efforts to deal with a game-changing threat to the business and the environment. Rose Marie also provides links to other resources to check out where you can become more informed about the industry’s response.
In Jiminy Peak: How To Be A Sustainable Resort and At Killington, The Sun And Cows Power Lifts And Lodges, Roger Lohr presents two case studies of how very practical resort owners have committed to alternative energy sources and conservation business practices, saving money and natural resources. Find out how the cows play a role in fighting climate change.
On we go into the summer. Mammoth Mountain finally ended the 2016-17 season by closing down on August 1. Click below for an intrepid final run over snow and pumice on the final day, again thanks to Snowbrains.com.
We’ll be back later in August. Meanwhile, summer on. Remember, there are more of us every day, and we aren’t going away.
[authors_page role=contributor]







